July Adoptive Family :: The Ingleston Fam

Hey y’all! We are the Ingleston family and we are so glad to have you here in this space with us. Our life as a family has been one crazy, unexpected blessing after another and we’re so honored to share our story with you! Anyone who knows us knows that we’ve always been the ones to “go against the grain.” We are somewhat (super duper, if you ask my mama) impulsive and when we have an idea, we’re ready to make it happen. That has truly set the tone for everything we’ve walked through as a family!Christian and I (Haley) met on Facebook, shout out to Mark Zuckerberg, and then went on our first date in February of 2015. I had just gotten out of a pretty toxic relationship and after that night I decided I wasn’t as ready to date. I needed to take some time to focus on myself. But after a few months, I was ready to move on and start dating again. I quickly reached out to Christian (late May) and he promptly responded with “Hey, I’m actually seeing someone and don’t like to text other women out of respect for her”. He’s always been such a dang gentleman and man was I beating myself up after reading that text. Well, what God has for us can not be stopped because less than two weeks later I got a text from him saying he was single again and asked if I was too. Hallelujah! In June of 2015 we went on what we call our second first date, in October of 2015 we were engaged, and by March of 2017 we were married!

Remember how I said we were impulsive? During our engagement we casually discussed wanting to foster or adopt one day. We were both on the same page, but didn’t know exactly what we would do, when we would get started, or how we would make it happen.

We were young (23 and 24) and had each racked up our fair share of debt that we both brought into our marriage. We were living in a little 1,000 sqft starter home, and I had just started graduate school. 

Three weeks after we got married I saw an advertisement for training classes to become foster parents and four months after that we were licensed foster parents!!!! We didn’t waste any time. November of 2017, 8 months after our wedding, we welcomed our first baby boy through foster care. He was 2 days old and we brought him home from the hospital without a single thing. We didn’t even know his name but he completely stole our hearts. He made us mommy and daddy and changed us in the best of ways. Unfortunately I can’t share much about his story due to confidentiality agreements, but what I can share is that “the system” did him a disservice. After 6 months of raising him as our own and being told adoption was only a matter of time, he was abruptly removed from our home. Our hearts were broken, our world was shaken, and our faith was tested on a level I never imagined possible. We were so broken and hopeless and had no idea what our next steps would be. One night we were lying in bed having a conversation about whether or not we wanted to continue to foster. I was so afraid to go through that pain again and I kept begging Christian to consider domestic infant adoption. For whatever reason, we didn’t feel called to try to conceive but we knew we weren’t done growing our family. After a bit of research (holy expensive) Christian said he just didn’t feel that it was in the cards for us at that time and that God would have to drop something in our laps in order to consider that any time soon. But remember, what God has for us we can’t stop….

TWO DAYS LATER my aunt called. She had met a woman that was homeless and living in a car parked in the parking lot at her job. She had been spending some time talking to her taking her breakfast and one morning she noticed a little “bump”. She asked her if she was pregnant and she said “yes.” My aunt then asked how she could help, if she had any plans for the baby, etc. The woman told her she didn’t know what she was going to do. She was in a tough spot mentally, had no stable living, and there was drugs involved. My aunt told her that we were foster parents and asked if she wanted to talk to me on the phone. I thought this conversation would consist of me telling her how the baby would be sent to a foster home, she would be given a case plan, and how she could work to get the baby back in her custody. Five minutes into the phone call, she stopped me and said “I just want the baby to have a normal life with good parents, will you adopt it?” “YES, absolutely, we would be honored” I quickly replied, then said, “oh wait, I need to call my husband”. 

We had no idea how far along she was, if there had been prenatal care, or what the gender or race of the child would be. We didn’t have a home study sufficient for domestic adoption nor did we have a clue what the process would consist of. Nevertheless, we put our yes on the table and received the sweetest surprise in return. What we thought was about a 6-month bump happened to be an 8.5-month bump. There was zero prenatal care, extensive drug use, and many mental and physical health concerns. All of that combined resulted in some very scary conversations with doctors encouraging my husband and I to “rethink” our decision. Statistically speaking, IF this child was born alive, the quality of life would be less than ideal. But still we pushed forward, dropped to our knees, and had this mama and baby covered in more prayer than you could imagine. May 17, 2018, after 3 days by Mama P’s hospital bed, we welcomed a perfectly HEALTHY baby boy, Elijah Cade! For the two weeks awaiting his birth and the 3 days spent at the hospital, we had the opportunity to love on Mama P and learn a bit about her. Sadly, after that, she decided to go her separate ways meaning we now have a closed adoption with Elijah.At this time we were still active foster parents and had started working towards transitioning a legal risk placement of a 10mo and 2yo boy into our home in hopes of adopting them as well. Again, the system failed them and in July they were moved to another home where they were eventually adopted. After the journey we had experienced in foster care we made the difficult decision to let our license go and no longer foster.

Still, we did not feel called to try to conceive; yet again, we knew we were not done.

October 2018 we announced that we would love to adopt (domestically) again. We had heard when pursuing domestic infant adoption that it was a long hard journey and this is why we decided to get started so quickly. We thought we would probably be blessed with another by the time Elijah was 2 years old or somewhere around that time. To much surprise, we were contacted by our attorney in February of 2019 and told that a mama was interested in getting to know our family. February 26, 2019 we were officially “matched” and on March 26, 2019 we welcomed our precious baby girl, Ava Jaymes. Her first mama helped us name her, loved on her alone in the hospital for the first 24 hours, and is still very involved in our lives. We have a beautiful open adoption with Mama A and are so grateful God gave us the courage to press forward despite all of the reasons why we shouldn’t. 


It may not have been the timeline we saw for our lives, but it’s so much greater. Having babies 10 months apart is challenging, no doubt. There are more diapers than I can count, someone’s always crying, and it takes an hour to get out the door, but when I look at the way Ava Jaymes looks up to Elijah or how he thinks kissing her head and giving her her paci is the greatest thing ever, I forget about the sleepless nights and long, hard days. They’re going to be the best of friends and we feel so honored and privileged to be entrusted with their sweet little lives. We really are living the dream!


The Ingleston Fam

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