a letter to you

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This picture caught my eye and basically begged me to use it. This post has been a long time coming. I am here to say, thank you. 

Thank you from the very bottom of my heart.

Thank you for your financial donations. Thank you for all the texts, emails, and phone calls. Thank you for all the gifts, each and every one of them. I think my husband has come home every Sunday since we brought Evie home with a gift. It’s just so overwhelming in the best way. We are most definitely feeling the love from our wonderful community.

Each person who gave, prayed, sent a message, sent a gift, is part of our story. Our story is God ordained and full of the faithfulness of a Father that calls us His own. He spoke to your heart and nudged you to join in. Thank you for listening to His voice. But, please know, it’s much bigger than just our story. God wants to speak to you daily. He wants to use you in another story, and another and another… Jump in. Go all in. Listen to His voice.

If you would like to know more about a relationship with Jesus and how he could use you daily, please contact me via email /// CheersToPlanA@gmail.com // I would love to chat with you about the relationship that has undone me in the best way possible!

Much love!

KB

our babe {33 weeks}

little love is growing so big -- can't wait to meet her!

little love is growing so big — can’t wait to meet her!

I know all you guys really care about is little Evie Rose … I know my place and I am totally okay with it. I wanted to give a quick update on how everything is progressing and the plan. 

W had a appointment last Thursday, the 12th, for a little check up. The doctor said Evie’s heartbeat was fantastic and very strong. W also asked if her due had changed because she was moved up a week, but he said the due date is still May 16th, which is my sister’s birthday…. hooha! Keep in mind that we are expecting her to come early, so I am starting to get things ready to jet.

So What’s the Plan? 

I keep getting that question, and I love it! I love having a plan even if it doesn’t work out. I recently had someone tell me to go to the hospital with absolutely no expectations because nothing will go like you thought. I think that is pretty sound advice considering I have no clue what I am doing. I am literally on the edge of my seat even as I type this…. I can’t believe that we are this close to meeting our love. Dru and I were talking the other night before bed about how it’s so difficult to believe it will only be the two of us for a little bit longer. I can not get over the love that is coming our way. It’s so big, so unexplainable. And we are getting to experience this only because of our birthmother’s ultimate unselfishness. We will all be connected forever. Wow, what a story, what a Savior! 

The Plan 

our super fab carseat {graco}

our super fab carseat {graco}

We are preparing the car, which means installing the carseat. I wanted to do this in December and Dru told me that I probably needed to wait. Ha! Jumping the gun much? That alone has me all giddy. I can’t wait to see that beautiful BABY in the carseat. That’s just everything.

Next week is my spring break, which will be mostly spent in CO, but when we return … It’s for real game time.  We are going to take the obviously things that we need like clothes for Evie, wipes, diapers, and bottles. We will have to wait and see on the formula situation. I want to see what kind the hospital uses and go from there. I have to keep reminding myself that we won’t be stranded, there will be a Target, people. Don’t worry. We are also taking her pack-n-play, boppy, and stroller. {I also have premie clothes and premie diapers on their way, just in case little love is super tiny.}

The goal in doing all of this is so we can literally hop in the car and go when W calls us. We will then jet and make the 7.5 hour trip, all while praying that we make it on time for the birth. I am trying to be logical and understand that it’s possible that we might not. I will be okay, but how amazing is that going to be?…… Maybe we should get a police escort. Can you imagine?

W’s next appointment is Monday, March 23rd for an ultrasound and then another regular appointment on Thursday, March 26th. We are hoping to have a much better idea of how big Evie is and get a better estimate on her arrival date.

All of that said, friends. This is most definitely the homestretch. We covet your prayers now more than ever. Please continue to pray for W and sweet Evie Rose. For protection, for wisdom, for provision, and also for everyone in the birth family. Please pray that they would be exactly what W needs and that she would find comfort in their words and love for her. Please pray for abundant blessings over W and every single person in our birth family. Any other prayers prayed are definitely appreciated and welcomed. Much love to each of you!

{Side note: If you are praying for Evie Rose, please write out your prayers and send them to me via email, FB, or comment here. I would love to create book for her sharing how much she’s wanted and loved even before we met.

first load of Evie's clothes done! I sat and actually folded every single item and gushed about them to Dru.

first load of Evie Rose’s clothes done — I sat & actually folded every single item all while gushing about them to Dru.

the pursuit.

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Good morning, friends. Your comments from the Be Brave series have been so good for my heart. It has been in my heart for some time now and I couldn’t wait to share all the stories of HIS faithfulness in the midst of what looks like not-so-great situations.

I literally want to pour every ounce of my heart out here…I just want to shout from the rooftops what OUR GOD is doing in my heart and the hearts of my friends. He is on the move, friends. He is wanting your heart. He is in pursuit of YOU. He wants YOU. He wants you to crawl in His lap and just sit. That’s where I am. I am resting there tonight. My heart is just so full, so full it just might burst. Not only is God pursuing me by speaking to me, He is pouring out His goodness, to me … I mean goodness gracious … He chased me down, all these years, to give me this gift wrapped so beautifully in the form of adoption {insert tears. yep. they are coming and they won’t stop} This little love is coming to me, all because He allowed this beautiful story to unfold and I get to be a part of it. And so, the pursuit of my heart continues…

Our birthmother {let’s call her W} is 31 weeks pregnant, yes, you read that right. 31 WEEKS!!! I am literally beside myself with excitement, fear, love, joy, and just-plain-ol-flat-out happiness. After talking with W, she believes Evie will come early, like 4 weeks early. So, yeah, friends… do the math. That’s only 5 weeks … Yeah, read that again. 5 weeks. In 5 weeks I very-well-could-be holding our precious miracle. She is so loved. She is always on my heart, oh so close to it. I dream about her, I long to see her little face, hands, and feet. I wonder so many things. Sometimes those things overwhelm me, then I feel The Pursuer of my heart calling me. Calling me into His presence and peace. I am there. I stay there until I pursuing His heart allows me to see His goodness all over again and in everything. See Him today, friends. See Him in everything. He is there.

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I will leave you with some goodies for Evie love. I will post shops on IG later on if you are interested in where they came from. I just want to go lay in it all everyday, all day.

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This is the size Evie is right now. Can’t believe how close we are to getting her home. #ComeOnEvieRose

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Much love to each of you,

KB

baby b is coming {part 3}

And here we are, the third and final installment on our journey to Evie Rose. My heart has loved reading these posts again. I love going back and reading about the faithfulness of our Father.

On Dec. 30th, Dru and I made the trip up to IL to see our precious birth family. We, of course, stopped at CFA first. Gotta have that chicken and DDP! Yes, serious issues over here.

We traveled up through Bham {we live here now} which meant a stop at our fave coffee spot. Their coffee is always on point.

Before we went over to Grammie’s house, {that’s our birthmother’s grandmother’s name}, we went to the hotel to check in/change clothes. Here we are, ready to go meet everyone face-to-face. Each of us had said over and over again… “We feel like we’ve known each other forever!”

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I told our birthmother that I was definitely going to cry when I hugged her for the first time. She wasn’t surprised because she had already seen me cry a minimum of 20 times. When we pulled up to in the driveway, I was full of emotion, but mostly pure joy and excitement.

Then came the hug….

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I mean, what do you say to the precious woman that is going to let you be the momma to the baby growing inside her belly? What do you do for her? How do you say thank you? How many times do you say it? I wanted to tangibly show her how much I love and respect and just pure adore her, but honestly, I do not know how that could be done. She is forever our hero and Evie’s hero. She will be loved and talked about as such…forever.  

After hugging everyone, we made our way inside and Grammie offered us something to drink and said to just make ourselves at home. If you are hungry, grab something, if you are thirsty, grab something to drink. {She had bought our favorite drinks, I might add.} She heard me mention our favorite drinks one time when we were Facetiming.

Then, it was time to share the gifts with our birthmother, the birth grandmother, and the birth great-grandmother. I figured it was the least I could do since I am constantly thinking of each of them daily and wanted to show them a little love.

We got our birthmother a bracelet with a charm with the word hero, which is the first word I think of when I think of her. Hero: a person who unselfishly puts someone else’s needs and wants before theirs. Evie is first in all of our thoughts. Our birthmother is not thinking of herself, which is our go to as humans. She is thinking of sweet Evie and us. Yes, us. She knows that she is literally making us parents. Something that hasn’t happened for us without her willingness to let us parent sweet Evie. This is beyond comprehension. I am a mess when  I start thinking about this concept. Once again, only a Mighty God could do something this legit. Only Him.

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We went shopping after we shared gifts, just a way to get to know each other and spend some time together. While we were shopping, our birthmother got a call from the doctor’s office. They explained to her that they  would not be performing an ultrasound  in the morning at her appointment. We were super confused because the doctor’s office already told her that we would get to have it. I started texting my prayer warriors. This was the BIG reason why we made the trip, other than to get to hang with the birth family. We decided to just wait and see and possibly work something else out later.

After we finished shopping and hanging out, all the family was coming over to Grammie’s house for dinner. To enjoy chicken spaghetti. Dru was probably the most excited out of everyone. It was absolutely delicious. As everyone arrived, we all gave hugs and introduced ourselves. We sat around and talked about the story of how all of this happened. There were parts that some didn’t know so we all took turns adding in. We laughed, I cried. Then, out came the guitar.

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Jesus was there, friends. In the singing, talking, playing, and laughing. Down to the fact that our birthmother can carry a tune. It’s just like Jesus kept adding favor in the story. Over and over again. He just kept going…..

He didn’t stop, Guess what.. He never does.

The next morning, we headed to the regular appointment and then found out that the ultrasound appointment had been scheduled for that afternoon at 2:00. The Lord had gone before us like He always does. We were going to get to see our baby that day! Nothing could have prepared me for the emotions that were coming. 

After waiting around, the time was finally here. We were headed the ultrasound appointment.  Our birthmother, her mother, her aunt, and us. Yes, all of us went. The bond that we all have because of this one little life. She has brought two families together forever. We walked in and the sweet tech told us that we couldn’t video, cue sadness all around. Then we told her the story and we about brought her to tears. She was overwhelmed as we were in this precious moment. {and I might have gotten a few extra ultrasound pictures…just maybe}

This was not just a regular ultrasound, this was the anatomy scan. So, not only did we get to see the baby, we got to watch the tech measure her little body. Her little fingers and toes being counted. It was beautiful. A few minutes into the ultrasound, she starts typing.. “It’s A …” … The tech was like so are y’all ready… and then we all waited, complete silence…. IT’S A GIRL!!! We all screamed and yelled and then our birthmother’s aunt said, “There’s little Evie Rose!!” {I’m crying now as I type this}

The flood of emotion that came over us is indescribable. I literally don’t have the words. I just paused for 30 seconds and couldn’t write anything. We just stood there and watched her move. Her move, our Evie Rose, move around. Knowing that she was a she had changed everything. It made everything so real. We are going to be a parents to a baby girl.

And not just any girl, this baby girl. 

That night we went over to some family friends’ house and ate dinner for New Year’s Eve. We met even more friends and family. We played games, laughed, and had fun. This was to be our last night with our precious birth family before Evie made her debut in April/May. Later on, we said our *tearful* goodbyes and went to visit our birthmother’s uncle’s church. It is an ARC church and we were pumped to be able to check it out! So blessed by His love for God and the people of their city. He blessed us tremendously.

The morning came and we headed to Rockford to visit our best friends! Yeah, just another piece of the puzzle that didn’t go unnoticed by our God. Not only did we get to meet our birth family, see our baby girl, spend tons of time together…. we got to see our friends. Even if it was less than 24 hours with them, it was worth it. These friends have been through it all with us… the dating, the marriage, and now the babies. We love them and their kiddos.

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So, that’s it. That’s how sweet baby girl got to us. And just think, it’s just the beginning, not the end. It’s the beginning of a new life… Sweet Evie’s life. The Lord is forever faithful, friends. If you find yourself wondering if He is really there with you, I can tell you, He is. He is right there beside you. Hearing every cry, every hurt, every silly thing someone says, every desire, and every prayer. Lean into Him. He with never leave you or forsake you.

Much love,

KB

baby b is coming {part 2}

I got y’all on the to be continued, didn’t I? ….. I need to confess, I had a little bit too much fun doing that. But, as promised, I will continue this amazing and beautiful story of how Evie is getting to us.

After we chatted with our birthmother, her mother, and her grandmother we needed to make plans to get together with our social worker. That Saturday {Dec. 13, 2014}, our social worker, graciously let us ask her a gazillion questions. Here is what we learned: in Illinois the law is that our birthmother can sign her papers three days after the baby is born, then we must wait 7 to 10 days after that for all the legal stuff to get taken care of in both states. We wanted to know this info so we could go back to the birth family and explain what the process might look like. So… that’s what we did, we FaceTimed again on Dec. 15, 2014 to discuss the ultrasound and the things we learned from our social worker…. little did we know that this conversation was going to bring me to complete amazement and awe of our God, yet again. 

We began chatting about everyone’s day and how everyone was doing… and then we began discussing the possibly of the ultrasound. Our birthmother said she would call her doctor in the morning to see if she could schedule an appointment for the week after Christmas, because we explained that was the only time we could be away from our jobs before the baby was born. Then… her precious grandmother, who is a little feisty, which I LOVE, turned the iPad towards herself and said… “Now I know we are all beating around the bush, but what do y’all think? Are y’all in?” …. We, of course, said “YES! We are!” and then… I’ll never forget…. our birthmother said.. “Well, this is your baby…. Y’all are gonna be parents!!” {Yes! Friends, that happened!} We all preceded to cry, except Dru, bless him.. all those women around him. Poor thing!}

Oh and that’s not it. Not only do we have a relationship with our birth family, not only have we gotten to talk to them, not only are we going to see them, not only are we getting to go to the ultrasound, not only are we finding out the sex….. WE WILL GET TO BE IN THE DELIVERY ROOM… I will get Evie as soon as she’s born and Dru will get to cut the umbilical cord…. YES! You read that right! Our God goes above and beyond our dreams. ABOVE and BEYOND.

In that moment, I couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t believe that we were talking about a baby, our baby.. about what was TO COME. A baby, a precious baby, that we would get to love, guide, and nurture forever. And not because we decided….. But because God decided. He saw fit to grant us this desire, in this way, not any other way, but His way, if you will… Plan A! This could not have been done or orchestrated by human minds and hearts. This is the work of an Almighty God.

The next morning, our precious birthmother, sent me a text saying that she had good news and that she would call me after I got out of school…. I said… Umm… I can’t handle it, please tell me now! She had called and made an appointment for Dec. 31st and we would get to find out the sex of the baby too!! I was literally shaking with excitement and expectancy of what was coming.

That night we began calling Dru’s family and letting them know the amazing news. It was so fun telling them the news. I also was able to tell my side of the family with gifts, which is another huge blessing from the Lord. I didn’t think I would get to surprise my family with the news. And to be able to do it at Christmas time was just too much. It was the best ever.

I want to make it clear that this is not normally how adoption stories go down. This was specifically written out for Dru, Evie, me, and our precious birth family. This story could not have been written any better by me or anyone else. God knew what we needed and wanted and what would be perfect for our family. And that’s what He gave us.

I still can’t believe we are getting to experience the parts of the journey to our baby that we didn’t think we would get to experience because we are growing our family through adoption. But Jesus, friends, Jesus makes all things new and allows us to experience the best. He just gives and gives.

Part 3 coming soon…

baby b is coming {part 1}

hello hello … we meet again 🙂 I left you guys hangin’ a little. hehe – We said *yes* to adoption in August of 2013 and then the paperwork + home-studies + fingerprinting and more paperwork began. {super duper sidenote: please do not let THAT discourage you from adoption. I literally got all our stuff together in ONE day and made copies. That night I was ready for our social worker. But hey, I laugh in the face of paperwork  – I was teacher so I was in charge of paperwork for not just one kid but up to 18. You can do it. Or I can do it but please do not let it stop you. #endrant} 
I wrote three blog posts in January of 2014 to share our story of how we met our birthmother. I am sharing with you now and feeling all the feelings. There’s so much to be said about writing/journaling as our lives unfold. We can see the beauty so clearly and more importantly, we can look back on His faithfulness.
So here it is :: Part one of our journey to our Evie girl …
I am going to share how our adoption of sweet baby Evie Rose unfolded in 3 parts {maybe more} here on the ol’ bloggy blog because the story is just too great, plus I’ve gotten many-an-emails and texts and calls wanting to know what in the world happened!
I WANT TO SHOUT IT FROM THE ROOFTOPS WHAT MY GOD HAS DONE!!! Our God is for us, friends!} Prepare yourself for God’s awesomeness!
All of you know because of my last post that November was a not-so-great month for me. If we are being really honest, I’ve had it bad since August. I was just in a rut and felt like I was constantly trying to get out of it. Well, little did I know, there was lots going on in the heavenlies. I was fighting for my baby girl. The Lord was laying my name on friends and family’s hearts because our precious birthmother and sweet baby girl needed us. She needed to be held. She needed to be held in the safest arms. The arms of her Heavenly Father through prayers.
When I posted the end was near in my last post, the end really was near, like next week near.
On December 3rd, 2014, a friend of mine contacted me. She told me that her pastors explained that their pastor friends’ daughter {it was actually their niece} was expecting. Our friend said that she and her husband were not ready, but that she had some friends that might be. {That was us!} We chatted for a little bit and I said I would talk with Dru. We talked the next night and we were like… hey why  not. Let’s send it! It definitely wouldn’t hurt anything at this point. {The friend that contacted me and I have kept up with each other on Facebook, but had not really talked in about 6 years. Her family moved to the city we lived in 6 years ago for a very short period of time, that’s why and how we met. {If her family wouldn’t have moved at that very specific time, then we would not know our Evie right now. Amazing, just amazing.}
On December 10th, I got an email from our birthmother’s grandmother, which said that her granddaughter loved our profile and wanted to talk with us. She also explained that she wanted to place her baby with Christian family that loves life {check and check}. The email also included her cell number and asked if we would want to chat. I immediately sent Dru an email, asked when he could talk and he said that same night at 9! And that was that!! We emailed a couple more times and eventually decided to FaceTime…hey.. why not?
Before we started chatting on FaceTime, I  was more nervous than I’ve ever been in my whole life. Am I really about to meet the woman that is going to willingly give me her baby to parent him or her? Is she going to like me? What does she like to do? What color hair does she have? Those were just a few questions going through my head. There were definitely more, I promise. How could there not be? Little did I know, this was the beginning of something that is just so beautiful, just too beautiful for words.
Then it was time. It was 9pm and we were about to meet her. The woman WE {each of you} had been praying for for well over a year, but didn’t know her name. Then all the sudden there they were. The family that was going to make us parents. Something we’ve waited on for close to 7 years. The joy was evident in the room. And let me tell you. Jesus was there. His presence was heavy and tangible. It was surreal, beautiful, and lovely all at once.
While we were chatting, I felt peace and joy like I’ve never felt. I felt like I had known her forever. We talked about how in the world we all got connected and about our profile. One of the things our birthmother’s grandmother said rocked me. She said that our birthmother didn’t even look pregnant until she looked at our profile a couple of days ago. I just kept thinking… is this really happening.. is this really happening….. Then our birthmother stood up and showed us her growing belly. Yep, it was a moment that I’ll never forget.
Our precious birthmother also explained to us that she didn’t know the sex of the baby yet and that she wanted US TO COME TO THE ULTRASOUND to find out!!!!! She wants us to come see her, she wants us to be apart of their family. She wants us to parent the baby growing inside of her.
But, wait. There’s more.
Towards the end of the conversation, I asked if they wanted to see the nursery and of course, they were delighted to get to see it.  Then we started talking about the sex of the baby. They all agreed with me that it was a boy. Everyone got teary eyed for the 10,000th time in the conversation. Imagine that. 
At the end of our conversation, I’ll never forget her words… our birthmother said that she was confident that this is what she wanted. Friends, she had just met us an hour earlier. I just knew, this is the beginning of something only our God could orchestrate. Only He could have seen all of this 6 years ago, actually even before time began. He knew. He knew that Evie was ours and that this family was ours and we were theirs. We are a family.
Part 2 coming up next…

baby b is coming {part 1}

Hi sweet friends and family!
I am going to share how our adoption of sweet baby Evie Rose unfolded in 3 parts {maybe more} here on the ol’ bloggy blog because the story is just too great, plus I’ve gotten many-an-emails and texts and calls wanting to know what in the world happened!
I WANT TO SHOUT IT FROM THE ROOFTOPS WHAT MY GOD HAS DONE!!! Our God is for us, friends!} Prepare yourself for God’s awesomeness!
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All of you know because of my last post that November was a not-so-great month for me. If we are being really honest, I’ve had it bad since August. I was just in a rut and felt like I was constantly trying to get out of it. Well, little did I know, there was lots going on in the heavenlies. I was fighting for my baby girl. The Lord was laying my name on friends and family’s hearts because our precious birthmother and sweet baby girl needed us. She needed to be held. She needed to be held in the safest arms. The arms of her Heavenly Father through prayers.
When I posted the end was near in my last post, the end really was near, like next week near.
On December 3rd, a friend of mine contacted me. She told me that her pastors explained that their pastor friends’ daughter {it was actually their niece} was expecting. Our friend said that she and her husband were not ready, but that she had some friends that might be. {That was us!} We chatted for a little bit and I said I would talk with Dru. We talked the next night and we were like… hey why  not. Let’s send it! It definitely wouldn’t hurt anything at this point.
{Side-note: The friend that contacted me and I have kept up with each other on Facebook, but had not really talked in about 6 years. Her family moved to the city we lived in 6 years ago for a very short period of time, that’s why and how we met. If her family wouldn’t have moved at that very specific time, then we would not know our Evie right now. Amazing, just amazing.}
On December 10th, I got an email from our birthmother’s grandmother, which said that her granddaughter loved our profile and wanted to talk with us. She also explained that she wanted to place her baby with Christian family that loves life. The email also included her cell number and asked if we would want to chat. I immediately sent Dru an email, asked when he could talk and he said that same night at 9! And that was that!! We emailed a couple more times and eventually decided to FaceTime…hey.. why not?
Before we started chatting on FaceTime, I  was more nervous than I’ve ever been in my whole life. Am I really about to meet the woman that is going to willingly give me her baby to parent him or her? Is she going to like me? What does she like to do? What color hair does she have? Those were just a few questions going through my head. There were definitely more, I promise. How could there not be? Little did I know, this was the beginning of something that is just so beautiful, just too beautiful for words.
Then it was time. It was 9 and we were about to meet her. The woman WE {each of you} had been praying for for well over a year, but didn’t know her name. Then all the sudden there they were. The family that was going to make us parents. Something we’ve waited for for almost 7 years. The joy was evident in the room. And let me tell you. Jesus was there. His presence was heavy and tangible. It was surreal, beautiful, and lovely all at once.
While we were chatting, I felt peace and joy like I’ve never felt. I felt like I had known her forever. We talked about how in the world we all got connected and about our profile. One of the things our birthmother’s grandmother said rocked me. She said that our birthmother didn’t even look pregnant until she looked at our profile a couple of days ago. I just kept thinking… is this really happening.. is this really happening….. Then our birthmother stood up and showed us her growing belly. Yep, it was a moment that I’ll never forget.
Our precious birthmother also explained to us that she didn’t know the sex of the baby yet and that she wanted US TO COME TO THE ULTRASOUND to find out!!!!! She wants us to come see her, she wants us to be apart of their family. She wants us to parent the baby growing inside of her.… But, wait. There’s more.
Towards the end of the conversation, I asked if they wanted to see the nursery and of course, they were delighted to get to see it.  Then we started talking about the sex of the baby. They all agreed with me that it was a boy. Everyone got teary eyed for the 10,000th time in the conversation. Imagine that. 
At the end of our conversation, I’ll never forget her words… our birthmother said that she was confident that this is what she wanted. Friends, she had just met us an hour earlier. I just knew, this is the beginning of something only our God could orchestrate. Only He could have seen all of this 6 years ago, actually even before time began. He knew. He knew that Evie was ours and that this family was ours and we were theirs. We are a family.
to be continued….