infertility lead us to adoption :: part 1

It took me a longer than I want to admit to be okay with saying those words ::

*infertility lead us to adoption*

I didn’t want to be labeled one of the couples who-didn’t-get-pregnant-so-they-adopted. But for real though, that’s our story and I own it. Like hardcore own it. And there’s beauty and brokenness and redemption all over every bit of it.

I will talk about last year {2016} here and there… well, I take that back, probably every time I write. It was a year that it didn’t seem like a lot of was happening, but goodness the Lord did a lot of reworking in my heart. One of my friends wrote about what 2016 looked for her and she used the word *shifting* and I think it describes my year too.

About two weeks after Evie was born, I began to think about our future children and how they were going to get to us {give me all the babies} My heart was overwhelmed, but I quickly gave it over to Jesus. He settled my heart and gave me so much grace to just soak up my time with Evie girl. And that’s just what we did. 2015 and 2016 were years of change, moving, learning, growing, and looking back to look forward. And that’s what brings me here, right now.

I wanted to invite you lovely people {our people} back in time to how we were lead to adoption. One of the many ways the Lord showed me His goodness last year was by focusing my attention on the gift and miracle of Evie’s life. He showed me how He brought me, with so much grace, to a place of trust in the story He had written for us.

So that means we look back. I have tears in my eyes as I revisit all this emotion. These are not just words I am typing out. This timeline I am sharing, is a road we never dreamed we would walk, but we did. It didn’t look pretty or sweet or kind the majority of the time, but we made it through.

I am going to share the timeline of what our infertility journey looked like up until my surgery in 2012. Before you read the timeline, you need to know what a few abbreviations mean. In the TTC {trying to conceive} world, it’s easier to use abbreviations for all of this crap instead of writing it out.

BCP :: birth control pills

BFN :: Big fat negative (pregnancy test result)

HSG: hysterosalpingogram {this is a procedure that tests to make sure your fallopian tubes are not blocked}

OPK: Ovulation predictor kit

June 14, 2008 :: WEDDING DAY!

August 2008 :: stopped using BCP

August – April 2009 :: prevented pregnancy

April 2009 :: decided to just “see what happens”

April 2009 – Dec 2010 :: continue to “not prevent pregnancy”

Jan 2011 :: first fertility related appt with OB

November 2011 :: HSG test {everything came back normal; actually I was told I had a perfect looking uterus #goodtimes}

November 2011 – February 2012 :: continued using OPKs

June 2012 – exploratory laparoscopy surgery {mild case of endometriosis, scar tissue, 5 or 6 cysts}

That first four years was only the beginning of the Lord not giving me what I want when I wanted it, all for something better. I have the giggles through my tears as I type this out because we just think we know what we need and when we need it. {spoiler alert: WE DON’T HAVE A CLUE}

I will continue writing about our infertility journey before our adoption journey. I am just so thankful for those of you reading and joining in our story again. Thank you. I am giddy to be writing again.

Before I say goodnight, I have a favor to ask. I am planning to do either a Facebook LIVE or Instagram LIVE video discussing adoption language. Do you have a question about any adoption related language you have heard? Do you have something you want to say but you don’t know how to say it? PLEASE ask me! Comment here or shoot me an email {kaileyabirkeland@gmail.com} or private message me on Facebook.

So much love for you sweet people!

Comments

  1. We finally get to finalize our Sweet Girl’s adoption on March 31st!

    • Kailey Birkeland says:

      What a BIG day! What are you guys doing to celebrate?! I remember Evie’s like it was yesterday! 🙂 So special!

  2. LOVE your story! For reals girl! How did you afford adoption after infertility treatments? Both are so dang expensive! And have you ever thought about embryo adoption?

    • Kailey Birkeland says:

      Hi Laura, we did tons of fundraising. Our family and church family really really rallied around us. It was a MIRACLE and amazing to watch it all unfold. And we haven’t talked about embryo adoption but we never say never around here. Thanks so much for reading!

  3. Everything is so beautifully said!! Thank you Kailey for sharing your story and letting us come along in the journey. Sharing both our struggles and triumphs helps everyone cope with their own circumstances and understand others in a deeper way. So honored to be in the same sisterhood with you!

Your comments make my day!